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Dating Violence
約會暴力

Definition
Dating violence is controlling, abusive, and aggressive behavior in a romantic relationship. It can happen in homosexual or heterosexual relationships and can include verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, or a combination of the four.

Source: http://www.victimsofcrime.org/help-for-crime-victims/get-help-bulletins-for-crime-victims/bulletins-for-teens/dating-violence#what

Warning Signs of Dating Violence:
There are many warning signs of dating violence and they should always be taken seriously. A pattern does not have to occur for it to be considered dating violence – one incidence of violence is abuse and it is one too many.

Warning signs of dating violence are similar to those seen in adult domestic violence cases. These signs of dating violence can be seen outside of the relationship and include:

  • Physical signs of injury
  • Truancy, dropping out of school
  • Failing grades
  • Indecision
  • Changes in mood or personality
  • Use of drugs/alcohol
  • Pregnancy
  • Emotional outburst
  • Isolation

Within the relationship itself, there are also signs of dating violence:

  • Checking your cell phone or email without permission
  • Constantly putting you down
  • Extreme jealousy or insecurity
  • Explosive temper
  • Isolating you from family or friends
  • Making false accusations
  • Mood swings
  • Physically hurting you in any way
  • Possessiveness
  • Telling you what to do

Source: “Teenage Dating Violence: Signs, Examples of Dating Violence.” Healthy Place.


Get Help
Becoming a victim of dating violence is not your fault. Nothing you say, wear, or do gives anyone the right to hurt you.

If you think you are in an abusive relationship, get help immediately. Don't keep your concerns to yourself.
Talk to someone you trust, such as a parent, teacher, school principal, counselor, or nurse.

If you choose to tell someone, you should know that some adults are mandated reporters. This means they are legally required to report neglect or abuse to a third party, such as the police or child protective services. 
You can ask people if they are mandated reporters and then decide what you want to do. Some examples of mandated reporters are teachers, counselors, doctors, social workers, and in some cases, coaches or activity leaders. If you need help deciding whom to talk to, call a crisis line in your area. You might also want to talk to a trusted family member, a friend’s parent, an adult neighbor or friend, an older sibling or cousin, or other experienced person who you trust.


Resources for Victims of Dating Violence:

 http://youth.gov/youth-topics/teen-dating-violence/resources
  http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/teen_dating_violence.html
https://www.victimsofcrime.org/help-for-crime-victims/get-help-bulletins-for-crime-victims/bulletins-for-teens
http://www.dvsas.org/
http://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/dating-violence-statistics/




定義
所謂的約會暴力,是指在親密關係中的控制,施暴,和攻擊行為。他可以發生在異性伴侶關係中也可以發生在同性伴侶關係中。這種暴力有時出現在語言、情緒上,有時出現在肢體上性行為中,也或許兼而有之。

約會暴力的警示訊號:
約會暴力的警訊有很多種,每一次的警示都應當被嚴肅看待。約會暴力並非要累積成一種模式,一次的暴力行為就足以被視為是約會暴力。

約會暴力的警示訊號可以從情侶關係之外的其他方面表現出來:
  • 肢體上的傷害
  • 曠課、逃學或休學
  • 成績退步
  • 無法做決定
  • 情緒或是人格的變化
  • 使用毒品或是酒精
  • 懷孕
  • 情緒爆發
  • 自我孤立

情侶關係中的約會暴力特徵包括:
  • 未經允許擅自看你的手機或是電郵
  • 不停地貶低你
  • 十分嫉妒和缺乏安全感
  • 亂發脾氣
  • 把你從家人或朋友種孤立出來
  • 對你做不實的指控
  • 情緒搖擺不定
  • 對你做任何方面的肢體傷害
  • 佔有欲
  • 告訴你該做什麼



尋求幫助
變成一個約會暴力的受害者不是你的錯, 沒有人有權因為你的所言所行或是穿著而傷害你。
如果你覺得你身處一個受害的關係中,立刻尋求幫助。不要對令妳憂慮的事情沈默不語。試著告訴一些你信任的人,譬如說父母、 老師、校長、輔導員、社工或是護士。

如果你選擇告訴別人,你應該知道有些成人有舉發的義務。也就是說,他們需要依法向有關單位舉發疏忽和暴力行為,包括警察局或是兒童保護局。

 如果你選擇告訴別人,你應該要問對方是不是有舉發的義務, 然後再決定是否要告訴他。舉例來說老師,輔導員,醫生,社工。 甚至教練很活動組織者也有可能有要舉發的義務。 如果你需要幫助決定應該要告訴誰,打你當地的求助專線。你也可以選擇告訴你可以信任的家人,你的朋友的父母,你的鄰居,你的兄姐或是堂/表兄弟姐妹, 或是任何一個你可以信任的人。


You are not alone. 
If something happens to you or a friend, we are here for you. 
Call our hotline now at 1(877)990-8595

你並不孤單
如果你的朋友或是你發生了約會暴力事件
請打電話給我們
1(877)990-8595

Garden of Hope​
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