Say NO to Domestic Violence
向家庭暴力說不
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What is Domestic Violence?

Definition 
Domestic Violence is physical, sexual, economic, or psychological abuse directed towards one's spouse, partner, or other family member within the household.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone, regardless of age, economic status, race and educational background.

There are different formats of violence
1. Physical violence
  • Physical violence is the intentional use of physical force with the potential for causing injury, harm, disability, or death. Some examples are hitting, shoving, biting, restraint, kicking, or use of a weapon.
2. Sexual violence
  • Sexual violence is the use of physical force on a person to engage in a sexual act against their will, regardless of whether or not the act is completed.

3. Psychological/ Emotional violence
  • Threats of physical, psychological, sexual, or social violence that use words, gestures, or weapons to communicate the intent to cause death, disability, injury, or physical or psychological harm. 
  • Psychological/ emotional violence involves violence to the victim caused by acts, threats of acts, or coercive tactics. Psychological/ emotional abuse can include, but not is not limited to, humiliating the victim, controlling what the victim can and cannot do, withholding information from the victim, deliberately doing something to make the victim feel diminished or embarrassed, isolating the victim from friends and family, and denying the victim access to money or other basic resources. 

4. Economic abuse
  • Economic abuse is when the abuser has complete control over the victim's money and other economic resources. Usually, this involves putting the victim on a strict allowance, withholding money at will and forcing the victim to beg for the money. It is common for the victim to receive less money as the abuse continues. Economic abuse also includes preventing the victim from finishing education or obtaining employment.

5. Spiritual Abuse
  • Spiritual abuse involves using a spouse’s or intimate partner’s religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate them or preventing a partner from practicing their religious or spiritual beliefs. 


Common MYTHs toward DV
  • Family violence is rare
  • Family violence is confined to the lower classes
  • Battered women must did something wrong to make their husbands angry.
  • Alcohol and drug abuse are the real causes of violence.
  • Battered wives like being hit, otherwise they would leave
  • Children are not affected if they do not see the violent incidents.

 The FACTs ARE
  • Perpetrators and victims of domestic violence come from all ethnic backgrounds, socioeconomic classes, religious affiliations, professions, and ages. Domestic violence knows no boundaries.
  • No excuse for violence.
  • Whether decide to remain with their abusive partners or leave, it is important to plan for safety.
  • Children in homes where domestic violence occurs are physically abused or seriously neglected at a rate of 1500% higher than the national average.

Contact Us:   1877-990-8595      
                           
什麼是家庭暴力?

家暴的定義
家庭暴力是指家人之間的暴力行為,包含對於夫妻、同居男女朋友、小孩、老人施暴。暴力絕非一次的單一事件,而是一種行為模式。





暴力行為的各種態樣如下:
1.身體暴力
  • 包括任何鞭、打、毆、踢、捶、掐、咬、燒、撞、推、抓、甩、扯、揪等動作攻擊,或任何使用器具、刀槍攻擊方式,嚴重程度從打巴掌到謀殺都算是。


2.性暴力
  • 攻擊被害人之胸部或陰部,用武力或身體暴力迫使進行任何型態的性活動,例如強迫對方進行性行為、逼迫對方看色情影片或圖片,強行將外物或身體的任何部位放入被害人陰道等。不論何種性活動,只要是未尊重你的性自主權,就算是性暴力。 

3.精神暴力
   包含言語暴力及非言語暴力兩種。
  • 言語暴力有恐嚇、威脅、貶低、冷漠、侮辱、吼叫,例如威脅撤回你的移民申請、不堪入耳的髒話等。
  • 非言語暴力有竊聽、跟蹤、監視、鄙視、破壞家具、自殺、自傷、不實指控與試圖操控,破壞配偶心愛的東西、虐待配偶的寵物、干擾飲食、睡眠限制配偶行動、帶走孩子。
  • 威脅、自殺、嘲笑、控制:不准對方使用電話和擁有金錢。
  • 逼問對方行蹤、跟蹤、監視操控他人,質問孩子是誰的?不實的指控對方有外遇、極度忌妒。
  • 阻止對方探視其親人、侮辱對方的朋友。
  • 濫用藥物和酗酒,無法保有一份工作。
  • 禁止對方上學或工作,批評對方的外表、責備、冷漠以對孤立被害人,使她斷絕對外的社會關係與連結。

4. 經濟控制
    經濟控制類別裡,你是否被
  • 不允許有接觸家庭資產,例如銀行帳戶、信用卡或汽車的機會
  • 在所有的財產規劃上被控管,並被強迫為你所花費的負責,或甚至被對方拿錢
  • 阻止得到或維持一份工作,或不讓你去學校學習
  • 限制得到健康保險、醫療處方或牙科保險



5. 信仰控制
  • 利用配偶或是伴侶的信仰來操縱對方,或是防止對方遵守宗教信條甚至理念。

常見的對家暴的錯誤觀念

  • 家庭暴力很少發生
  • 家庭暴力僅發生於較社會經濟地位較低的家庭中
  • 被毆打的婦女一定是先做了些錯事使得她們的丈夫生氣
  • 酒精和藥物濫用是導致暴力發生的真正原因
  • 被毆打的太太喜歡被打,不然她們早就會離開了
  • 只要小孩不親眼目睹暴力事件,他們是不會受到影響的


現實狀況是
  • 家庭暴力的施暴者與受害者有可能來自各種族裔、社會經計地位、宗教信仰、專業及年齡。家暴的發生是沒有任何屆界線的
  • 暴力的發生是沒有任何的藉口
  • 不論是決定留下與施暴者共處或離開,重要的是要有人身安全保護計畫
  • 在有家庭暴力的家庭中,孩童被肉體虐待或嚴重照管不良的比例是高於全國平均的1500%



人身安全保護計畫:


一、暴力發生前
  • 判斷暴力發生的可能性:
  • 如果你曾受暴,相信你自己的直覺與判斷,有很多發生的現象可以幫助你快速判斷是否即將發生暴力,例如加害人酒醉後回家,而他常在酒醉後施暴,那就表示妳與家人的危險度增加;或者加害人有一些無法談論的議題,可能包含失業問題、家中經濟、兒時經驗等,妳可能要小心,盡量避免在加害人心情不佳時,與他談論這些議題。
  • 如果你判斷家中目前不是安全的地方,請立刻離開現場,並勇敢向外尋求協助,你的人身安全永遠是第一優先考量。
  • 如果您曾經受暴,並仍與加害人同住時,平時就要預備一個’’逃命天涯小包包’’,裡面須包含一切的備用證件及物品,例如現金、存摺、工卡、駕照、綠卡、社會保險卡、一套盥洗用具及衣服等,以協助您外出求援後的生活所需。
  • 教導孩子如何撥打緊急電話,例如警察的911專線。


二、暴力發生中之危機處理流程:
    (一)家中:
  • 遭受肢體攻擊時,用手保護頭部等相關重要部位,降低受傷程度。
  • 保護孩子不直接受暴或是目睹任何家暴情形。
  • 尖叫或盡量向外面跑去,讓鄰居等更多人知道你正在受暴,他們可以協助你報警,停止暴力行為。
  (二)家外:
  • 如果加害人跟蹤、騷擾、威脅、恐嚇你,建議你不要直接回家,你可以到人多的公共場合或警察局並主動出示保護令,警察會依據加害人違反保護令情形,進行後續司法程序。

三、暴力發生後:
無論大傷或小傷,一定要去醫院或診所驗傷,開立驗傷單,並自己拍照,可當作未來要進行司法訴訟時的證據資料,另外,一個月內的家暴證據,都可以拿至警察局申請保護令。

如果妳計畫要離開施暴者,妳需要思考以下事情:
  • 找到妳可以去的地方。
  • 如果妳離開的話誰可以幫助妳。
  • 誰可以幫妳保管一個逃生包。
  • 誰可以借妳錢。
  • 隨身攜帶手機或是打電話的零錢。
  • 妳要如何帶著妳的孩子一起安全離開。
  • 準備一個有日用品的包包將它藏在一個可以容易拿到的地方。



必要的隨身物品:
  • 錢,車鑰匙,房子鑰匙,上班的鑰匙,換洗衣物,藥物。
  • 你與你的孩子的重要證件,例如:出生證明,社會安全卡,醫療記錄, 銀行本子,信用卡,駕照,護照,綠卡,工作證,離婚文件, 監護權命令...等等。
  • 照片或是珠寶,對你意義重大的物件。







如果你已經離開施暴者, 你需要:

  • 你/妳仍然有必要思考你的安全問題。
  • 隨身帶著電話。
  • 去法院申請保護令,隨身帶著一份復印件,給一份復印件給警察、孩子的保姆、學校以及你的上司。
  • 告訴照顧你的孩子的人可以接小孩的人的名字,如果你有保護令,給你的孩子的老師和保姆一份復印件。
  • 將門換鎖甚至換一個更強壯的門,裝上保全系統以及門口室外燈。
  • 告訴一個可信任的同事事情的經過,請此人過濾你的電話,如果你的保護令包括你的工作場所, 你應該給你的上司一份復印件。
  • 不要光顧與施暴者曾經一起去過的商店。


Have a SAFETY PLAN
Safety is the most important thing. Listed below are tips to help keep you safe.

If you are in an abusive relationship, think about...

  • Important phone numbers nearby for you and your children. Numbers to have: the police, hotlines, friends and a local shelter. 
  • Friends or neighbors to whom you can tell about the abuse. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises. If you have children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word that you can use when you need help.  
  • How to get out of your home safely. Practice ways to get out.  
  • Safer places in your home where there are exits and no weapons. If you think abuse is going to happen, try to get your abuser to one of these safer places.  
  • Any weapons in the house. Think about ways that you can get them out of the house.  
  • Even if you do not plan to leave, think of where you could go. Think of how you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house - taking out the trash, walking the pet or going to the store. Put together a bag of things you use everyday (see the checklist below). Hide it where it is easy for you to get.  
  • Going over your safety plan often.
  • Someone that you can call if you feel down. Call that person if you are thinking about going to a support group or workshop.  
  • Abusers try to control their victims’ lives. When abusers feel a loss of control, such as when victims try to leave them, the abuse often gets worse. Take special care when you leave. Keep being careful even after you have left. 

If you are considering leaving your abuser, think about... 
  • Finding places you could go to if you leave home.  
  • People who might help you if you leave. Think about people who will keep a bag of necessities for you. Think about people who might lend you money. 
  • Keeping change for phone calls or getting a cell phone.  
  • How you can take your children with you safely. 
  • Putting together a bag of everyday necessities. Hide it where it is easy for you to get. 

Items To Take, If Possible:
  • Money
  • Car, house, and work keys
  • Extra clothes 
  • Medicine
  • Important papers for you and your children (such as: Birth certificates, social security cards, medical records, bank books, credit cards, driver's license, passports, green cards, work permits, divorce papers, custody orders, etc.)
  • Items for your children (toys, blankets, etc.)
  • Pictures, jewelry, things that mean a lot to you.

If you have left your abuser, think about... 

  • Staying safe 
  • Getting a cell phone. HAVEN may be able to provide you with a cell phone that is programmed to only call 911. These phones are for when you need to call the police and cannot get to any other phone. 
  • Getting an Order of Protection (OP) from the court. Keep a copy with you all the time. Give a copy to the police, people who take care of your children, their schools and your boss.  
  • Changing the locks. Consider installing stronger doors, a security system and outside lights.
  • Telling people who take care of your children the names of people who are allowed to pick them up. If you have a OP protecting your children, give their teachers and babysitters a copy of it.  
  • Telling someone at work about what has happened. Ask that person to screen your calls. If you have an OP that includes where you work, consider giving your boss a copy of it and a picture of the abuser. Formulate and practice a safety plan for your workplace. This should include going to and from work.  
  • Not using the same stores or businesses that you habitually used when you were with your abuser.  
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