Say NO to Domestic Violence
What is Domestic Violence？
Domestic Violence is physical, sexual, economic, or psychological abuse directed towards one's spouse, partner, or other family member within the household.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone, regardless of age, economic status, race and educational background.
There are different formats of violence
1. Physical violence
- Physical violence is the intentional use of physical force with the potential for causing injury, harm, disability, or death. Some examples are hitting, shoving, biting, restraint, kicking, or use of a weapon.
2. Sexual violence
- Sexual violence is the use of physical force on a person to engage in a sexual act against their will, regardless of whether or not the act is completed.
3. Psychological/ Emotional violence
- Threats of physical, psychological, sexual, or social violence that use words, gestures, or weapons to communicate the intent to cause death, disability, injury, or physical or psychological harm.
- Psychological/ emotional violence involves violence to the victim caused by acts, threats of acts, or coercive tactics. Psychological/ emotional abuse can include, but not is not limited to, humiliating the victim, controlling what the victim can and cannot do, withholding information from the victim, deliberately doing something to make the victim feel diminished or embarrassed, isolating the victim from friends and family, and denying the victim access to money or other basic resources.
4. Economic abuse
- Economic abuse is when the abuser has complete control over the victim's money and other economic resources. Usually, this involves putting the victim on a strict allowance, withholding money at will and forcing the victim to beg for the money. It is common for the victim to receive less money as the abuse continues. Economic abuse also includes preventing the victim from finishing education or obtaining employment.
5. Spiritual Abuse
- Spiritual abuse involves using a spouse’s or intimate partner’s religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate them or preventing a partner from practicing their religious or spiritual beliefs.
- Family violence is confined to the lower classes
- Battered women must did something wrong to make their husbands angry.
- Alcohol and drug abuse are the real causes of violence.
- Battered wives like being hit, otherwise they would leave
- Children are not affected if they do not see the violent incidents.
The FACTs ARE
- Perpetrators and victims of domestic violence come from all ethnic backgrounds, socioeconomic classes, religious affiliations, professions, and ages. Domestic violence knows no boundaries.
- Whether decide to remain with their abusive partners or leave, it is important to plan for safety.
- Children in homes where domestic violence occurs are physically abused or seriously neglected at a rate of 1500% higher than the national average.
Contact Us: 1877-990-8595
- 你與你的孩子的重要證件，例如：出生證明，社會安全卡，醫療記錄， 銀行本子，信用卡，駕照，護照，綠卡，工作證，離婚文件， 監護權命令...等等。
- 告訴一個可信任的同事事情的經過，請此人過濾你的電話，如果你的保護令包括你的工作場所， 你應該給你的上司一份復印件。
Have a SAFETY PLAN
Safety is the most important thing. Listed below are tips to help keep you safe.
If you are in an abusive relationship, think about...
- Important phone numbers nearby for you and your children. Numbers to have: the police, hotlines, friends and a local shelter.
- Friends or neighbors to whom you can tell about the abuse. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises. If you have children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word that you can use when you need help.
- How to get out of your home safely. Practice ways to get out.
- Safer places in your home where there are exits and no weapons. If you think abuse is going to happen, try to get your abuser to one of these safer places.
- Any weapons in the house. Think about ways that you can get them out of the house.
- Even if you do not plan to leave, think of where you could go. Think of how you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house - taking out the trash, walking the pet or going to the store. Put together a bag of things you use everyday (see the checklist below). Hide it where it is easy for you to get.
- Going over your safety plan often.
- Someone that you can call if you feel down. Call that person if you are thinking about going to a support group or workshop.
- Abusers try to control their victims’ lives. When abusers feel a loss of control, such as when victims try to leave them, the abuse often gets worse. Take special care when you leave. Keep being careful even after you have left.
If you are considering leaving your abuser, think about...
- Finding places you could go to if you leave home.
- People who might help you if you leave. Think about people who will keep a bag of necessities for you. Think about people who might lend you money.
- Keeping change for phone calls or getting a cell phone.
- How you can take your children with you safely.
- Putting together a bag of everyday necessities. Hide it where it is easy for you to get.
Items To Take, If Possible：
- Car, house, and work keys
- Important papers for you and your children (such as: Birth certificates, social security cards, medical records, bank books, credit cards, driver's license, passports, green cards, work permits, divorce papers, custody orders, etc.)
- Items for your children (toys, blankets, etc.)
- Pictures, jewelry, things that mean a lot to you.
If you have left your abuser, think about...
- Getting a cell phone. HAVEN may be able to provide you with a cell phone that is programmed to only call 911. These phones are for when you need to call the police and cannot get to any other phone.
- Getting an Order of Protection (OP) from the court. Keep a copy with you all the time. Give a copy to the police, people who take care of your children, their schools and your boss.
- Changing the locks. Consider installing stronger doors, a security system and outside lights.
- Telling people who take care of your children the names of people who are allowed to pick them up. If you have a OP protecting your children, give their teachers and babysitters a copy of it.
- Telling someone at work about what has happened. Ask that person to screen your calls. If you have an OP that includes where you work, consider giving your boss a copy of it and a picture of the abuser. Formulate and practice a safety plan for your workplace. This should include going to and from work.
- Not using the same stores or businesses that you habitually used when you were with your abuser.
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