History

I came from a musical family and studied in conservatory of music. I felt that life was as beautiful as music. However, I have never image that hurting me most is my husband, which broke my heart. My nightmare was start the second year of my marriage. He tried to control me in various ways. He does not allow me to contact my family; broke things in the house; stalk me, and threat to hurt himself to get what he wants. He even threatened me that my family and me was going to die if I do not help him to get a green card. These years of my marriage, I was in the pit of fear. I worked in the day, but could not rest at night when I came home because all of the psychological and emotional abuse. I felt helpless, lonely, almost break down. Finally, without any choice, I called the police and get an order of protection from the criminal court

I felt warmth, care, and love from Garden of Hope when I first talked to my counselor. This kind of love I have never experienced in previous agencies I asked for help. Until lately, I realize that this love comes from God which I can express my deepest feeling and feel safe. My counselor cares me and let me understand that domestic violence is not just dispute between husband and wife, but a way of power and control. She always prays for me that God’s protection and guidance will lead me walk through the future ahead of me. Through her counseling, I felt that my self-confidence is getting increase and seeing the light for my life. (Shirley)

我從小生長在一個音樂世家，考入音樂學院學習，我覺得

生活就當像音樂那樣美好。可是我萬萬想不到，傷害我最

深的竟是我的丈夫，這對我的打擊很大。與他結婚後的第

二年，我的惡夢就開始了。為了讓我服從他的控制，他不

准我與家人聯繫、經常打碎家裡的東西、逼我下跪撞頭、

跟蹤我、恐嚇我如果不繼續幫他辦綠卡我和我的家人都會

死、威脅我砍手指，以及在家中展示武器等等。幾年來我

生活在極度恐懼當中。白天工作、晚上回到家不能休息，

身心都受到極大的傷害。孤獨、無助，精神幾乎崩潰，我

在忍無可忍的情況下報了警，法院給予了保護令。

當我來到紐約勵馨，我感到了溫暖、關心和愛心，這種愛

是我以前去別的機構從來沒感受到的。勵馨以耶穌基督的

心為心，讓我敢於把自己內心的感覺說出來。她們關懷、

啟發我，讓我了解家庭暴力不是夫妻一時動怒吵架，而是

權力控制。她們為我禱告，求神保守我，帶領我走前方的

路。我漸漸有了信心，看到了光明。在此我要感謝紐約勵

馨一直以來對我的愛心與真誠的幫助。（谷子）

I first moved into a domestic violence (DV) shelter with my one-year-old son and later was introduced to the staff members of Garden of Hope (GOH) through my church leaders. Regardless of any difficulties or challenges I face, I can always call up the staff members, and they would always set time aside to pray with me for my son and myself. I participated in a DV support group hosted by GOH early this year, and the encouragement I got from the group was tremendous.

Despite my English is proficient enough, as a DV victim, the fear and anxiety inside was eating away at me; on one hand, I worried about my child’s living environment, our financial difficulties and the uncertainties of the future, on the other hand, going to different courts, police station & many other organizations as well as meeting with lawyers & social workers make me so exhausted; the pressure was overwhelming, and the situation at times seemed very discouraging, especially when my case was handed to one social worker after another, my case was assigned to one attorney after another, and even a new judge took over my custody case after ongoing for six months. However, after praying with GOH counselors and lifting all my worries to God, I felt more relieved. For this, I am very thankful for what GOH has done for me and my son for they’ve been there for us. Nevertheless, it is devastating to learn that many abused women still choose to stay with the abusers and allow all the abusiveness because of language barriers, not knowing who to turn to, or because of feeling ashamed and embarrassed.

Bringing into the existence of the GOH is great news for Chinese DV victims. Without language and cultural barriers, the Chinese DV victims can safely turn to GOH for the best counseling and referrals. Meanwhile, I’d like to encourage everyone to join in all activities to help NY Garden of Hope build a DV shelter. Your donations will not only help many DV victims, women and children, have a temporary home, but also help them rebuild themselves and start a brand new life. (PM)

當初因為家暴的緣故帶著一歲多的孩子住進避護所，後來輾轉

經教會的牧者及小組長的介紹，開始和紐約勵馨有了接觸。這

些日子以來，無論面臨什麼難處和挑戰，勵馨輔導同工總會播

出時間和我一起為我和兒子禱告。我曾參加過勵馨舉辦的受虐

婦女互助團體，在當中獲得的鼓勵不在話下。

即使我的英語程度不差，身為一個家庭暴力的受害者，心裡的

恐懼和不知所措依然時時吞蝕著我，一方面擔心孩子的生活環

境、經濟上的困境和我們不可知的未來，一方面疲於奔走法庭

、警察局、律師、社工和各單位之間，壓力之大真的不容易承

受；尤其當接手的社工或律師甚至法官一換再換，曾經使我相

當灰心，然而每次和勵馨的同工談話禱告、再次將重擔難題交

託給上帝，就釋懷許多；為此，我很感謝勵馨，因為他們一路

陪我走來。但是當我得知還有不少其他的受虐婦女由於語言的

阻礙而求助無門，或是怕丟臉不敢報警、不敢離開施虐者，只

能一再地忍受，心裡實在難過。

勵馨的成立對我們這些華人家暴受害者真的是一大福音！在沒

有語言的隔閡、文化相同又安全的情況下，勵馨能為個案做最

好的輔導、轉介，幫助受虐婦女重新站起來！同時藉這機會呼

籲大家踴躍參與勵馨籌建家暴避護所活動，您的捐款將會幫助

許多有家歸不得的受虐婦女與兒童，使他們暫時有棲身之處，

幫助他們重新站起來、開始新的生活。 (寶媽)